my statement on the end of NECIA, my former punk band

content warning: sexual abuse and harm

necia has not been a band since september 2019, after our lead singer aru was publicly called out. the call-out was regarding harm and abuse of power, particularly on exposing women and femmes to a known abuser and predator, her older brother diego apaza. i originally wrote a public statement to be shared on our instagram but was silenced at the time. as an act of de-platforming, i decided to delete all our music and social media platforms. I felt that our music did/does not need to be public especially as it featured the artistry of someone who has caused so much pain to women, femmes and non-binaries. i want to explicitly name the call-out and harmful internal dynamics as the culmination that ended our band. throughout that last year we were becoming inactive and estranged. however, it’s important to name what happened so it’s clear and part of a wider conversation of accountability and harm in movement and punx spaces. to write your truth in a statement and/or call-out of that nature is incredibly difficult and painful to do. as a survivor myself, i am always here to support and believe survivors and talk about this further, with anyone – particularly women, femmes and non-binaries across our movement and punx spaces.

there is a lot more to be shared and reflected on from my own experiences as a band member. i have a limited emotional and psychological bandwidth that i have been actively healing. i am helping myself to heal and survive from my PTSD, from harm and abuse that i have and currently am experiencing. however, while i may not have much of an online presence, this experience is something i have talked at lengths with people i am in community with and honestly have thought about this everyday. if there are any questions or concerns about my statement, do let me know so that i may address them immediately. i can be reached at almajabana[dot]com. paz.

forest and flower

taken on saturn day september 26th at a farmers market in kingsbridge. of a beloved young friend who tends to a special heart in this world – may they be loved and protected.

shedding skins

i am a snake with skin that’s shedding

slithering around as my old self dies

death and rebirth, my saturn is rising

what once i craved i can no longer hold down

spitting it out like in ceremony, a spiritual purging

i am a snake with skin that’s shedding

uncoiling along the waters, pulled in with each tide

i am formless and a revolution of time

moving slow and sexy and in a mystery to yr eyes

slithering around as my old self dies


a sticker born this past august to share with spanish-speaking communities and beyond to support the movement in boycotting goya. goya has forever been problematic, with enforcing white supremacy and the illusion of “latinidad” by reappropriating foods and legacy brought to us by enslaved African ancestors. i remember my days of working at el museo back in 2010, and the racist board members with ties to goya. el museo is an institution with roots in el barrio and a responsibility to the Boriken community, but has failed time and time again to be a space that resonates and is truly for the community that built it. i am committed to continuing to do my best and better in disrupting these false notions of “latinx-unity” when we REALLY need to discuss and dismantle the anti-Blackness, anti-indigeneity and hyper-capitalism that plagues the wide and over-encompassing region that is squeezed into this supposed-universal term. it does not fit, and is dangerous. if this resonates, and you would like some of these stickers to bring to your communities, please reach out to me and i’ll mail ’em to you. no money, but you can take those coins to support any Black-led organizing local to you. paz.


Scorpio season is my one of my favorite seasons – after Gemini, obvio – and in honor of underworld and shadow magic, I am giving birth to the material forms of many of my desires and dreams in this time. The ones that have been hiding out, waiting for that perfect moment, or avoiding eye contact with me when I want them to shine – it’s been enuff and I can’t wait any longer. Like Saturn shows us, when it’s time to leap off the skinny branch, we got to thrust our wings and trust thy self. 

Soulhandles has been a name I’ve used since my teen punk daze back at City-As School. It bloomed out of my yung-buck-awkward-attempts in my own self-love, struggling around body image, and choosing the re-naming of my own love handles into soul handles. Cause food is soul. And soul is life; love already in the mix. 

“The most important thing is to hold on, hold out, for your creative life,

 for your solitude, for your time to be and do, for your very life;

 hold on, for the promise from the wild nature is this:

after winter, spring always comes.

 Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph. D

This fall has been a deep clearing, following a year that has asked many questions (Zora Neale Hurston). In continuing to flow with the incredible magic at play, I am starting a new blog that focuses on my radical-arts-education work, with my usual creative, inquisitive and rebellious musings and beings. I am excited to continue building strong and honest community, to push towards the future with the fire to create the liberated worlds in which we deserve to live.

My prayers for this online space is to share learnings and teachings from my world, to inspire, manifest and collaborate across borders, disciplines, and imaginations. There is a deep feeling that resonates with this creation, and I am honored to struggle with these new wings of mine to achieve flight. 

Credit: Kite’s Nest

In gratitude to all whom have taught me, knowingly and mostly un-knowingly, throughout my years working in community in my hometown of nyc and beyond. Young fourteen-year-old Ingrid, and all that follow, appreciates you immensely and has/is holding myself accountable to the responsibility to do better. Real talk…